Here I am with little you as my one and only child and I can’t begin to “let” myself have another because of all the reasons it would be so difficult to raise a 3rd child. Finances being the number one issue followed by the hard work it is to raise a baby for another 18 + years, and the thought of taking any of my attention from you would be heartbreaking. Family outings would be less and far between because the extra cost and the age gap would make it difficult to find many things to do as a family without each kid wanting to do their own thing considering I have Emilio to think about too. I would also need a bigger car, bigger house…
Will over-thinking things has always been a problem for me…having another baby could be the most amazing thing in the world but I can’t decide if having a bigger family would be worth more happiness than being responsible and making our little family more of a priority. I also think about how you are my whole world right now and I love sharing every single moment with just you and being able to re-live my childhood through your eyes. I also wonder what will happen when you reaches Emilio’s age and she don’t need me so much anymore. Am I going to be one of those annoying parents that suddenly has no life and keeps trying to fit into their teens life, trying to be cool when I’m not wanted? haha!! I think too much. Sometimes I do wish I could care less and leave things to chance. But the reality of the matter is that it’s not who I am. I guess when I know it’s right to have another child, it will be right. And for now I’m enjoying every minute of watching you grow…and so far you seem ok being my only baby.
You really are the sweetest little girl with a lot of charisma. You love making people laugh and have so much sentiment for things that you do and how they affect others. This age is truly amazing, I’m seeing your learning progress and for your age your are wise beyond your years and think about things that I wouldn’t imagine would even cross your mind. You are my best friend…I just hope you remember how much you mean to me and keep me close to your heart always. I love you more than anything in the world. I hope we can always be close. I really regret going through those dreaded teen years and telling my parents to mind their business! I’m hoping that I can have enough respect for you to not butt into her life, but I also hope that we can have such an amazing relationship that you feel comfortable enough coming to me with anything and everything! Emy when you read this one day…be gentle with your words and actions 🙂 I love you ❤
iheartemy 